


Lithium

by maddiemotionless15



Category: Miyavi (Musician), the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiemotionless15/pseuds/maddiemotionless15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want to stay in love with my sorrow</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lithium

It had been a year since I had met my Miyavi. Our first meeting probably wasn't the best but I'm glad that it happened. He is so adorable, always happy, always cheerful, even if he doesn't feel it. I know he didn't feel well before but now he's fine right? I snapped out of my thoughts when the lift pinged signaling that I was at my floor. I turned round the corner towards our apartment. Once I was at the door, I turned the key and let myself in.

I kicked off my shoes and put my coat on the rack.

" Miyavi, baby I'm home", I called.

Hearing no reply, I walked into the living room and what I saw made my heart melt. My baby way laying on the sofa asleep, a little smile was crossing those beautiful lips of his. Even like this he was perfect, who am I kidding he always looks perfect. He is perfect. My Miyavi is perfect. From the way he was lying I could tell that it wasn't his intention to fall asleep as half his body hung off the sofa. Knowing myself, I could never fall asleep like that but he was always such a deep sleeper but then again, I guess that it was a good thing as he was not very well before. It broke my heart when I found out that my baby had depression but I helped him and he overcame it.

There are many things that I admire about Miyavi but the biggest thing would have to be his bravery. It's not easy dealing with something like that alone, I'm glad that I found him, so now he doesn't have to deal with it on his own. He has me and I will protect him with my life. The sleeping beauty in front of me meant more to me than anyone knew. More to me than he himself knew. Baby, I love you.

I knew that my baby had a concert in the morning and I also knew that keeping him on the sofa would not do a great deal of good for his back. I then picked up my baby bridal style and then carried him to our bedroom. Whilst placing him under the sheets, I noticed an empty packet of tablets placed on the side table. Was he back on medication and didn't tell me?It was too late now and he was fast asleep. I will ask him about it later, I decided.

I striped down to my boxers and layed down next to my love. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and snuggled into his warm body. I'm sorry Miyavi, I haven't been at home a lot. To be honest the sight that greeted me was one I had often saw as in the mornings I am up with the sun and in the night I arrive with the stars. I can't remember a time in the last couple of weeks when we spent the whole day together. No disruption, just the two of us. I can't even remember the last time we had sex, forget about that when was the last time we sat down and had dinner together or even had a proper conversation. Think, Kai think! and with those thoughts whirling around mu head I finally fell asleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning in an empty bed. He must be in the living room, I thought to myself. I got up and got dressed, I walked towards our bedroom door. Noticing something stuck to the mirror I picked it up and it read:

I got up early to go to the concert venue. I hope to see you there?!, I love you Kai - Miyavi.

I smiled at the note, for once I had nothing on and could go see my love preform onstage. I had a couple of hours to kill until then.

I ended up with one of the best places in the crowd, at the front slap bang in the middle. I was exited! The lights dimmed and on walked on my sweetheart. The music began and he began to sing:

Lithium don't want to lock me up inside, lithium don't want to forget how it feels inside. Lithium don't want to stay in love with my sorrow, oh but god I want to let it go.

Come to bed don't make me sleep alone, couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show. Never wanted it to be so cold, just didn't drink enough to say you loved me.

I can't hold on to me, wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium don't want to lock me up inside, lithium don't want to forget how it feels without. Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time, drown my will to fly. Here in this darkness I know myself, can't break free until I let it go.

Let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all, anything is better than to be alone, and in the end I guess I had to fall. Always find my place among the ashes. 

I can't hold on to me, wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium don't to lock me up inside, lithium don't want to forget how it feels without. Lithium I want to stay in love with my sorrow, oh but god I want to let it go. 

The music stopped and I could feel the warm tears run down my face. Why didn't he tell me he was feeling like this? My heart felt as if it were about to tear in two. The crowd unknowingly applauded his version of Evanescence's Lithium. He gave a sad smile as the crowd died down. Then it happened, the room felt as if it went black and the voices faded out.

" Miyavi", I cried as his body hit the stage.

I rushed on to the stage ran on and his manager called the paramedics. Together we carried him backstage and waited for the medics to arrive. Once they arrive they checked him out and said:

" I'm sorry, he didn't make it." 

I wasn't going to take that as an answer. My Miyavi is strong, I know that he would not give in that easily. My body started to shake as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked up as I felt a pair of strong hands grip my shoulders.

" I'm sorry, Kai", his manager said to me.

I didn't want his sympathy, all I wanted was my baby. Why didn't I spend more time with him? Why didn't I realise how he felt? Why wasn't I there for him? Baby I'm sorry.

" Miyavi, sweetie wherever you are I'm sorry", I just couldn't take it anymore, my legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor, crying out for my lover. I didn't care who saw, I just wanted my baby back.


End file.
